Friendship? Or?? (First Verse) ? Normal Deviations

Basically, can men and women? simply be friends or will the unanswered questions of a potential relationship and/or sex always be a looming albatross?

I feel so foolish, I?ve never noticed
you?d act so nervous,
could you be falling for me?
it took a rumor to make me wonder
now I?m convinced that I?m going under
thinking ?bout you every day
dream about you every night
I?m hoping that you feel the same way
now that we know it, let?s really show it, darlin?

This has been batting around in my head since my constant muse posted this CBC radio discussion about the question of women and men being able to be platonic friends. Then, yesterday, Melia posted the same question ? and kicked my ass into gear to actually finish this thought and post.

Like I said in comments to both of the above threads, I believe it isn?t a matter of cross-gender friendships being in question, but actually sexually compatible friendships having the often unspoken question of potential ?what if?? as the elephant in the room. And, the more I think about it, I believe that?s actually being too limiting as well.

I remember witnessing plenty of friendships where the dynamic simply includes one person in the friendship being attracted to members of the gender of the other person in the friendship. So what if she?s straight and you?re bisexual? Unrequited ?love?.? Just because she just isn?t interested in girls doesn?t mean you can?t fantasize or hope she changes her mind. You hear about it often in the media, where people who are known to the world to be just friends get caught by their significant others in bed ? with the shock and public scandal that follows.

Hell, look at my story as a poster child for friends that end up in a relationship ? and sex ? and how (at least) two of us pondered that question while we were just friends.

I knew they were close friends but I never suspected they were that close!

So, really, it touches on the core of what friendships are versus romantic feelings. It?s just more common to ponder the question of women and men being friends because that?s the most common romantic compatibility pairing.

I think a lot of it depends on our personal, individual definition of what makes someone a friend instead of just someone you know. For some, there is little difference ? certain types of people are most comfortable having many distant friends and few close friends. Others (like me) tend to have friends who are very close and intimate? and then the rest are simply acquaintances. Intimate, in this case, being close bonds that are beyond the connection you have with most people out there. A higher level of trust, perhaps being confidants, perhaps love in a way, perhaps showing a unity that is only between those two people. In many ways, that also describes partners in romantic relationships, eh?

If a friendship has gotten to that point, I consider that a form of intimacy. Kinda makes sense that a high level of intimacy may also include speculation about taking it to a different level of intimacy, no?

That certainly doesn?t answer the question, and suggests that the question will be there in that type of friendship. But, that ain?t always the case, I believe.

Later: part two, where I muddy the waters further and share my thoughts/feelings/experiences/observations.

Source: http://normaldeviations.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/friendship-or-first-verse/

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